Dear Linda, I am writing from Malawi and I need your readers advice. I got married about 10 years ago to a man i dated for almost 4 years. All was well before we got married. While dating, we used to stay some 400KM apart and he was working and I had also a teaching job in my city. After the death of my mother (while still dating) I had a responsibility of looking after my siblings and my orphaned nieces and nephews who were staying with my mother before she died. After a year we had our traditional marriage and I fell pregnant a month later. While I was 3 months pregnant, one day I was looking at our wedding photos where I saw a little boy on one of the photos, who was looking just exactly as my husband. When I asked my hubby about the parents of the boy, he told me he was his son. When I asked him further questions, he told me he had 6 children.
It was also discovered that 2 of the kids were born while we were still dating and before we were married. (Mind you I was that time pregnant, lost my mum and left my teaching job to stay with him). I was very much divastated and almost ran mad. I met some counsellors but all what was said was for me to stay with my hubby so as he could be looking after me for my unborn baby's sake. I stayed with him and on top of his 6 kids we were staying with his brothers, sisters and nieces too. It was a very trying time for me. My baby was born (very cute) and things worsed.
He was siding with his relatives to abuse me in many ways like (not providing for the baby's needs, not regarding me as the wife, prioritising his siblings' problems, beating me up and not allowing me to contribute as to how to run our family, seeking advice from his parents before doing anything etc). I was praying to God always to set me free but you know our God is always faithfull and will never dissapoint us. I got a very good job, my salary was x5 his salary, a company car, with school fees for my little one to a very good school in town and other alot of previledges.
Things changed instantly, his siblings moved out of the house one by one because they were ashamed looking at how they used to treat me before I got a job and my husband was always on my knees begging for forgiveness. Li, even though I have managed to stay with this man for 9/10 years now, it was because I had no where to go and I coudnt manage to raise my kid without any job.
Now that I have a job of my own I am suggesting of moving out and rent an apartment for myself and my son. Its been 3 years since I got the job and It was a very busy one at first and I couldnt think of moving out. Since those 3 years he has been acting so innocent, committed, obedient (he has been showing lots of care) but i dont know if its because of my job or love or if he has come back to his senses. I am very much confused and needs help
Note: He took advantage of my situation to abuse me and our own son.
He was there when I lost my mother and he funded for the funeral.
He did all what a loving man could do to serve the life of my mother and supported us when we had no one to assist.
But also the betrayal is just too much for me and I cant stand it.(am not doing this because i have been blessed with a good job but i do not have peace of mind)
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